There Must Be a Less Intrusive Way to Castrate Brass Monkeys
January 31^st, 2004
1:50 A. M.

Goodness gracious.....

It's zero degrees Fahrenheit in my fair city right now. Even my car whined when I started it up tonight (this morning - whatever). It simply doesn't get this cold very often around here. But, gosh, when it does, it can really get cold.

There have been several times in the course of my life that I remember the temperature hitting at least fifteen below. That's actually fun to play in, albeit not for very long! What you do (and those of you from farther up north might have more opportunities to do this) is to get a bottle of bubbles on a nice arctic night and go outside to blow them. It's the strangest thing I've ever seen, and I've only seen it once. At fifteen below zero (twenty-six below zero, if you're a Canadian reading this blog) the water in the bubbles' surfaces will freeze, and the bubbles will fall to the ground ... and stay there. You can even pick the things up. I even saw one shatter instead of pop.

I know my friends might think I'm a little strange, but I'd like to do that again one day...

The Friday Five (Nice Original Title, Eh?)
January 30^th, 2004
3:01 A. M.

Weellll....
This week's Friday Five is on a subject I've successfully avoided. It's not that I haven't thought about this subject before, it's just that (much to my chagrin) I have yet to hear the words;
You have just won one million dollars:

1. Who do you call first?
More than likely, it would be ... naw, you all guess.

2. What is the first thing you buy for yourself?
It would probably be that nifty little hologram projector I saw in a Lord of the Rings catalog. It projects an image of the One Ring into the air just a few fractions of an inch above this really cool pedestal. (I'm sorry if I'm not being articulate enough in the description, but the thing is simply too cool for words!)

3. What is the first thing you buy for someone else?
I'd just help them pay off debts. That would be the first thing I'd do. Everyone I know usually buys anything they need, so shopping for them would be difficult.
4. Do you give any away? If yes, to whom?
I would give some to my old roommates. They're in a tight spot right now, and it wouldn't take much to get them out. I know those guys probably would probably turn away any amount more than they really needed. They'd just need enough for a car, and they'd go out and get jobs that weren't seasonal (they work in a lawn care business that also does snow removal, but they haven't been getting many hours lately ... last pay period, they had no hours at all, and hence no paycheck).
And then there's D. Whatever she asked for (minus what the old roommates got, of course) would be hers. I'd like to think that whatever she got from that could help with her fertility treatments. (And help to pay for her children's education, too.)
5. Do you invest any? If so, how?
I thought you'd never ask.
I'd keep 100,097.95 (the $97.95 would be for the hologram projector from Question 2) and put it in a CD. Then, I'd go back to work the next day. ...I'd continue writing my weblog ... figure out a way to make a living as a writer ....
Yeah ...
That right there would be nicer than getting a big chunk of change from a lottery...

File THIS under Ooooooooookaaaaayyyy
January 29^th, 2004
1:55 P. M.

I wouldn't want to have been shopping in Tainan, Taiwan when this happened!

It's Not Enough to Get My Blood Boiling, So I Am Embarrassed That I'm Doing an Entry on This Subject
January 29^th, 2004
2:35 A. M.

I've just read this AOL article (I realized after I posted that you'll have to log on to AOL to read this, so here's a similar artcle on Yahoo), and a thought occurred to me.
...I'm so very glad we've solved all of life's greatest challenges to the point where we can once again start cleaning up bad language from Capital Hill.

If you've noticed, I don't use very much "offensive" language (or what I consider "directly offensive" language) on this blog. That's not because my mother used to slap me in the mouth when I used it as a child (that really happened, which angered my father when he caught her doing it), but it's simply because this "offensive" language isn't quite as commonplace as people make it out to be.

At least, it isn't down here on our level. I've never had a television show and I'm not a radio personality. I've never been in, nor written for, a movie. The only real complaint I have about people who use these expletives so often is that they are robbing these words of their intended emotional impact.

But, then again, for those of us who've done our research (Like George Carlin did for the "Queen Mother" of all dirty words), we know that quite a few of the "bad" words in this language stem from the Norman invasion of England.

The Normans, who of course spoke French, decided to make French the official language of England. For at least a generation, the people of the new power structure did everything they could to replace the English language all together ... they considered everything English to be "dirty." So, technically at one point in history (namely the late 11^th century), every single word you're reading would have been considered "dirty."

If you don't believe me, check out this google search I've done on a book called "The Extraordinary Origins of Everyday Things." There is a chapter in that book dedicated to the origin of offensive language. The "F" word is in the book. Anyone who has ever seen the George Carlin routine about the "F" word will recognize the passage devoted to it. Turns out that George really did do his homework about that word.

If you get a chance to get your hands on a copy of this book, I recommend it. There are a lot of other things in it that my fellow non-categorized geeks will find interesting.

By the way, I bet you now understand why people say "pardon my French" after they use a curse word.

Hmm ... Final thoughts on this subject (and you've noticed I don't directly jab at this group very much but ...) American conservatives siding with the French on an issue in this day and age ...?

...And ...

Does anyone else see this move as more of a possible revenue booster?

Isn't It a Little Late to Be Bloggin'?
January 28^th, 2004
2:38 A. M.

Well, tonight was my first night on the new schedule. I made it through just fine, but look at what time I'm posting now. Kinda makes me glad I've got a few quotes in reserve for the

Humpday Quote of the

Week!
"To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girl friends."

Benjamin Franklin

*** ** *** ** *** **

Looks like I'll be taking my promise to have entries ready to go in advance more seriously. Folks, I'm sleepy. I'm no longer a night owl, and my day is going to restart in less than eight hours.....
....What's worse ... I'm to that point of tired to where sleep gets hard to attain.

I Haven't Read Any Astrological Forecasts, But...
January 27^th, 2004
12:52 A. M.

...I wonder if any of them this past month have said anything about "interesting developments possible for your career, Capricorn," or some such nonsense.

This past week, when I was visiting D in the hospital, her husband asked me an interesting question.

"How would you like to be my assistant where I work?"

He followed with, "I might be able to match the pay you're making now and you'll be working first shift hours."

The idea is appealing to me.

But, when I got to work today, I found out that my department is being re-structured. I know that sounds slightly euphemistic, but it isn't. My supervisor said that with my workload about to increase by some ungodly multiplier, that she was going to have me come in later and work later ... so I'll be working an hour and a half into third shift. That will translate into about an extra 10 to 15 dollars on each pay check. I have, in effect, gotten at least a thirteen cent raise.

So ... what do I do?

...I think I'll let time tell. It won't take long, either. I may wind up taking D's husband's offer anyway.

Ok, So I Lied In My Comments Today!
January 25^th, 2004
9:59 P. M.

Well, I didn't intend to do any sort of writing today at all. I mean, I've been going at it constantly, sometimes twice a day, for the majority of the past week.

But, after going to check on The Abyss, I decided to go and take a quiz. I've done these a few times before, but I've never posted the results here. I had to do it this time, though...

And, here it is!;




You are Form 0, Phoenix: The Eternal.

"And The Phoenix's cycle had reached
zenith, so he consumed himself in fire. He
emerged from his own ashes, to be forever
immortal."

Some examples of the Phoenix Form are Quetzalcoatl
(Aztec), Shiva (Indian), and Ra-Atum
(Egyptian).
The Phoenix is associated with the concept of life,
the number 0, and the element of fire.
His sign is the eclipsed sun.

As a member of Form 0, you are a determined
individual. You tend to keep your sense of
optomism, even through tough times and have a
positive outlook on most situations. You have
a way of looking at going through life as a
journey that you can constantly learn from.
Phoenixes are the best friends to have because
they cheer people up easily.


Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

A Degree of Tiredness
January 23^rd, 2004
12:56 P. M.

If you noticed yesterday, I the entry was marked with Thursday’s date. That’s because I wrote it on Thursday, meaning to post it at midnight and go directly to bed from there. However, circumstances at work were against that. As of one o’clock this morning (Friday) I was still at work.

I don’t mind being at work that late. Anymore, that is…

If I stay two hours into the next shift (which I did last night) I make another fifty cents on the hour for those two hours. Doesn’t sound like much (for good reason … it isn’t), but like any other type of pittance, it will add up. That, and the extra fifty cents on the hour combines with having time and a half, so I could use that extra dollar from last night to buy one of those delightfully (and unintentionally) off color toys from a dollar store.

Speaking of which … who of you out there go to dollar stores to pick up cheap imported toys … just to for the terrible translation of the instructions? That has to be my favorite pastime there!

I don’t know if I should say anymore about this unique product than I am about to say (I will ask Averie if this is a good substitute for those dick jokes she was looking for at Heckler and Coch)
….But, here is every word on the package of this particular product… (again, I don’t want to reveal the name for the product, because that might risk an improvement to the translation of the instructions … and the entertainment value of my whole world would collapse. Seeing as I’m pretty sure someone has tipped the Australians off to what “Nad’s” might mean to us in the U. S., I can’t risk losing this!)

So, here it is … the instructions for

Blaster Balls!
Over 400 Blasts!

Instructions:

To blast in hand: Cup one ball in hand at crease of palm and fingers, hold other ball in same hand between thumb and forefinger, toss upper ball one to two feet up and catch ball bringing hand with ball in upward motion, cracking balls together creates a ‘blast’ sound when coated surfaces meet right in your hand - safely.

Cracking Balls are fun! Try this game:
using the hand blasting method, see how many times you can blast the balls in a row without dropping them or missing a blast. When you miss, pass the balls to the next player. Keep score and the first person to blast the balls 25 times wins.

Invent many more games yourself

Warning:
Exercise caution when playing. Do not blast within one foot of the face. Do not throw at or near other children. Keep your blaster balls dry.

Contents: Potassium Chlorate, Sulfur Glue and glass powder.

That's every word on the back of the package. Wild, wasn't it?

Three Steps to Blogging Bliss
January 22^nd, 2004
1:48 P. M.

1. Log on.
2. Click publish button.
3. Go to bed.

This is what it's going to have to come down to if I want to get back into getting up early again. I've been sleeping 'til 10:30 or 11 in the morning since about Christmas time. Boy, it's a hard habit to break, this staying up late to blog!

I've been talking about changing that for weeks. It just takes baby steps, though. Like this one. This is the second baby step. Step one was talking about doing all the writing on the weekends, step two is writing one solitary entry eleven hours before it gets posted. I have no clue what the next step will be. It can't actually be writing on the weekend ... that seems like skipping to the goal....

An Update
January 21^st, 2004
11:48 P. M.

I am better rested tonight, and in much better spirits (hence the do-it-myself dateline has returned), but I haven't logged in to give the Thursday post early to talk about myself.

As the highlighted "d" in the title suggests, I have news about D. I got a call from her today at about noon. I haven't heard a peep out of her since some time last week, and she has neither updated her blog, nor has she posted anything to this one.

But, I did remember that she was supposed to have an egg removal procedure done this week ... and the potential for complications was high. Well, the doctor warned her that the treatments she was being given to boost egg production could cause her to go into hyperstimulation.

Which is precisely what happened. Instead of, maybe, a half a dozen or so eggs being harvested, they wound up removing 36 from her yesterday (perhaps the day before). D told me that it was pretty close to a record number being removed from a woman undergoing fertility treatments. (She didn't say what the actual record was.)

Now, with all those follicles stimulated, she ended up having fluid build up in her abdomen. When I went to see her in the hospital this afternoon, she was in a lot of pain. She's had trouble sleeping through the night, and is expecting to have the same trouble again tonight. (I was supposed to go out and visit her again tonight, but she's still feeling rough and told me that she didn't feel up to having company.)

I know doctors are supposed to do things like this, but it makes me wonder about the way people relate to each other sometimes ...

D told me today that a doctor came by and asked about how much pain she was in while pushing in on her abdomen (and keep in mind that feeling you get, ladies, just as you're ovulating ... and remember that it's 36 follicles that have ruptured instead of one or two, and a tremendous fluid buildup to boot. And, gentlemen, if you're feeling adventurous ... ask the special lady in your life what it feels like to have an egg burst forth from her ovary).

Doctor: Does it hurt when I push here?

D (In obvious pain): Uh huh

Doctor (Moving hands to a different spot on her abdomen): How about here?

D (Nearly yelping): YES!

Doctor (Flipping through chart): Did it hurt more when I pushed in or when I let out?

D (Mustering what's left of her lung power): It HURT!

I'm Tired, I'm Cranky, and I Just Want to Write and Sleep

That pretty much sums it up tonight. I'm not even going to bother with my usual do-it-myself dateline. I'll just post enough to let you folks know I survived another Tuesday, and to give to you another ...

Humpday Quote of the

Week!

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
Lily Tomlin

The Case of the Disappearing Comment Links
January 20^th, 2004
12:10 A. M.

I was just checking Tinmen Don't Dance and The Abyss, and noticed that their comment links were gone. It's a shame, too, because they both wrote things that I would like to have commented about tonight.

I've already sent an e-mail through the "Lavish praise on me" link on Tinmen Don't Dance, but what Pua wrote about on on the 16^th (but I didn't get around to reading 'til just now) was something I'll post about here.

On Pushy Parents

After reading The Abyss today about the play Pua's daughter was in, I started thinking about pushy parents. Then I started trying to think of ways to write about them and not stir up a hornet's nest over the way I feel about them.

I discovered that there is no way for me to express myself on this subject and be nice at all about it. I'll simply say that there are a handful of "artists" out there today who owe their success in part to their pushy parents. I could use names, but I won't. Suffice it to say, the titles of royalty are involved, and these are Pop stars. I shall also say that they can be best described as a smattering of over-emoting divas and a plastic surgeon's freakish creation. (To be fair, though, there are a couple of songs done by the "freakish creation" in the seventies that I actually like.)

My only question is ... do these parents really see talent, or are they treating their children as meal tickets? I mean, I'm wondering if there is some desperate unmet need these people have for fame and fortune. Are they so desperate for these things that they push their hack children to great heights on their marginal talents? And, I'm also wondering how many genuinely talented artists are pushed to the wayside by these jerks and their kids.

Well, I haven't mentioned any names, so I hope there won't be any trouble from this.

An Unusual Second Date
January 19^th, 2004
12:20 P. M.

I just wanted to see if anyone who's been following This Space for Rent over the past six months gets the reference I've made in the title of this post ... here I go, referring to my own writing, again....

But, on with the subject at hand here.

Last night, I had a second date with someone ... who actually called what we've done before a date. I'm not sure where it's headed, but there's going to be a third date this coming weekend. After what I've been through, I'm not going to rush anything. More than likely, if things are going to be slow in developing, I will be responsible for that.

Then again, the other person comes across as someone who is going to be careful herself.

I'll write more about her later, and in slightly greater detail. No names will be given, mind you. Unless she says it's ok.

How Cool Can This Be?
January 18^th, 2004
1:00 A. M.

This is my first time at a particular club here in town. (I've had four beers and two things in test tubes ... a "Caramel Apple" something and a "Pixie Stick." So much for studying at the library, huh?)

This place has a dance club in one section, a live rock band in another, an acoustic folk duo playing in a third section, and in a fourth section there is a karaoke showcase.

And ... here's the kicker ... I keep running into old friends here.

One guy, whom I still have no idea who he is, knew me on sight ... I'm still trying to remember him.

The other guy ... well ... do you remember me writing about the plays I did? (It was a five episode run back in September. I know ... I accidentally deleted one of them. I'll find it in my e-mail and re-post it.)

Well, he played a (state) senator in the play in which I was the cop ... now he works security at this club!!!

...Kick Ass!!!

I Waited an Hour Online Just to Do This
January 16^th, 2004
12:13 P. M.

It's Friday Five time, which means this post is a free write. It's been a week since I've done any free writing. I still like it, but I'm looking forward to spending hours in the library either on Saturday or Sunday just writing whatever comes to me, and then editing it and posting throughout the week!

But, anyway, here's this week's Friday Five. The last question is a bit of a downer ... I don't know how I'm going to answer it ...

1. What does it say in the signature line of your emails?

My signature line usually says "Go n-eiri an bothar leat!" Which is missing accent marks because I have no idea how to put them in there, and which I've heard translates out of Irish Gaelic to mean "May the road rise to meet you!"

2. Did you have a senior quote in your high school yearbook? What was it? If you haven't graduated yet, what would you like your quote to be?

I really don't remember what my senior quote was. I could ask D to look in her yearbook to see if I even had one. If I had a quote, it's probably one I've used here.

3. If you had vanity plates on your car, what would they read? If you already have them, what do they say?

How incredibly odd. I've been thinking about getting one (or making my own) that has this blog's web address on it....

4. Have you received any gifts with messages engraved upon them? What did the inscription say?

I once received a pendant that had a smooth ruby mounted in a gold circle. On its back was inscribed "You can unlock any door, if you only have the key."
No, wait... that was in a movie I saw when I was a kid...

5. What would you like your epitaph to be?

Morbid, ain't it?

No, that's not the epitaph I'd want. That's just the reaction to the question. The answer is as follows;

When your grasp has exceeded your reach
And you put all your faith
In a figure of speech
You've heard all the answers
But the questions remain
Grab a hold of that fistful of rain

It may seem odd for a writer to leave this world with someone else's words on his tomb, but I would like to acknowledge the masters who can nail a sentiment better than I can. (By the way, these words were written by Warren Zevon and Jorge Calderon.)

Well, everyone, I hope you've enjoyed this (even in light of that last question), and I hope you all have a great weekend!

New Plan (As Usual, a Last Minute Change)
January 15^th, 2004
1:47 A. M.

The other day, I wrote about how things were going to change at This Space for Rent. Well, I've read over the post I was about to make here, and I decided to add it to my bio, since that is the feeling I got from it anyway.

So, there's the link, if you want to read what I have been sitting on since Monday!

It's Just Now Wednesday, and I Already Have Thursday's Post Ready to Go!
January 14^th, 2004
2:06 A. M.

And it feels wonderful! Tinged with a little irony, though. I no longer need to have any kind of writing done in advance, but here I am ... ready with tomorrow's post today.

I am still editing it ... pondering over whether it will be added as it is, or with any references to my full name removed. I really don't know. I'm feeling comfortable enough to give my name, but I'm not getting paid for this, and I am a far cry from being a celebrity (even locally). I always say, "What good is fame without fortune?"

*** ** *** ** *** **

But, on a completely different subject, I've selected a quote that I just happen to like a whole lot. I don't know how accurate it is (I've dredged it up from memory, since I can't find my copy of the book), but it is from one of my favorite authors, so it's going to be today's:

Humpday Quote of the

Week!

"P. M. S. is that time of the month when women act like men do all the time."
--Robert Heinlein writing as Dr. Lazarus Long from The Cat Who Walks Through Walls.

Welcome to a Brand New Day!
January 13^th, 2004
10:18 A. M.

Welcome to a new day here at This Space for Rent!

The post which follows this one is the first ever written by someone other than me! I hope that there are many more to come in the future!

Thanks for the response, D!

Perhaps the focus should be on just meeting new people and dating. When I gave up on having a "normal" relationship and ever dating again after dating a psycho path, I met the man I eventually married (four years later). It is okay to have marriage as a long-term goal, but smaller goals (short-term golas) are definitely the way to go and don't give up. As someone who has known you for over 12 years now, I think you do have a chance of meeting someone. Think about the positive qualities others have pointed out to you over the course of your life and see those things in yourself. Hang in there! D

It's Time to Step Things Up a Little Bit
January 13^th, 2004
12:45 A. M.

I've been told that someone who puts talent, skill, and brainpower together can be a dangerous person. For the longest time, I have not understood why a person who could do this could be called dangerous. I may have figured that out now.

As you may or may not know, today marks an anniversary of sorts for This Space for Rent. It's not been quite a year since I started this blog (six months it is as of today), but it feels as if a lifetime has gone by. I've gone back and read some of my earlier posts, and I can say that I've liked them. (That's a big step for me. I've always been so self critical that I hesitate to write much at all.) However, it's almost as if a different person has written the entries in the past.

That's where the idea of talent, skill, and brainpower coming together to be dangerous comes in. I can honestly say that I didn't like where I was in my life before I started writing in my blog, and since then I feel as if I've changed my life completely. That is to say, it has been almost completely renovated. Anyone who has ever participated in, or witnessed, a renovation knows that a whole lot gets destroyed in the process. Out with the old, and in with the new, so to speak ... technically, then, the danger is really to all the old ideas and notions and feelings I've held on to for the longest time. They are nearly wiped out.

So, then, I think it is time for a change to This Space for Rent.

Starting with this post, I will be writing them all in advance, and proofreading them ... mainly to see if I can do what my old English teachers were wanting me to do so many years ago.

I may, however, do free writing on Wednesdays and Fridays because on those days I'll be doing my regular features. (Well, one original and one shared by countless other bloggers, that is.)

Another idea I've been playing around with is to invite my friends, both old and new, to contribute weekly (or monthly, or quarterly) to This Space for Rent. If you'd like to join (particularly Averie, Pua, D, Rabid Librarian, and even Tim, and anyone else from work) leave a comment and I'll set you up. Heck, if things work out, we may be able to move from an electronic medium with no pay to a print medium with pay. But, I'm not going to count on that. If my luck holds, this'll just be a great place for us all to write and have fun. That doesn't sound too bad to me, how about you all?

I Had a Little Dream, Aw Shucks, Aw Well!
January 12^th, 2004
12:13 A. M.

This post was originally going to be titled 'Single by Choice ... Or Was It Process of Elimination?' But, I thought the Warren Zevon reference was a little more powerful.

In case you all have been wondering, I have given up on the idea that I might be married by 30. (I don't think I'll bother postponing it to 35 ... I'll be disappointed again, I'm sure.) But, oddly enough, I'm getting to be more and more O. K. with the idea. I really don't know how my new attitude's going to work, though ....

Now, every time I see a woman I think is attractive, I think "I have no chance in Hell," then I talk to her anyway. I don't have any phone numbers, mind you; I am not quite interested in having a relationship just yet. I'm not even sure I'll have another one. But, it's like a favorite local writer of mine said, "I figure marriage is like cancer. If you live long enough, both are bound to happen to you."

Her take on it is ... well ... a little less positive than mine. That doesn't keep part of me from thinking she's right.

So, no marriage, no children for me. I've given it a try, and there are no takers (anymore.)

So, whatever forces out there in the Cosmos are paying attention to me ... You've won. You've given me the opposite of all my greatest dreams, and now my greatest Dream is to NOT get married or have children!

(I wonder if I might wind up destroying all of Space-Time with that little feedback loop?)

P. S.
While You're at it, the idea of winning the lottery makes me physically ill.

I Doubt Seriously This Has Made it to CNN!
January 10^th, 2004
12:17 A. M.

Well, well, well. I know folks have been keeping an eye on either Florida or California to supply our country with embarrassment. What I must wonder, though, is whether or not the country is surprised when something like this happens in a state like Kentucky.

Since I haven't traveled too far out of my state, I don't know what people think about Kentuckians. I'm pretty sure that the phrase "Horse Capital of the World" has made it outside our borders. But, other than that, all I have to go on is what my father told me about his 1968 trip to Winnipeg. He told me that when people found out he was from here, they would look down at his feet to make sure he was wearing shoes!

No, Seriously! It's Just Oregano!
January 9^th, 2003
12:36 P. M.

I was watching the news on CNN just now, and I saw a newsbite that said "Police bust a Costa Mesa pot farm that neighbors complained they could smell from blocks away."

Now, over here in Kentucky, specifically in the southeastern part of the state (I'm about an hour and a half to the northwest of that region), I can understand the need for people to grow that stuff. Hell, my ex-girlfriend's otherwise law abiding grandfather used to grow it to supplement his retirement income. Let's face it ... eastern Kentucky's in a permanent 'recession.' There is no McDonalds around there that's willing to hire a 70 year old man. And I'm living in the nearest 'big city' to that region (Lexington's population is little over a quarter of a million.)

Granted, I know nothing of Costa Mesa, California. In fact, before I had this weblog up and running, I had never heard of Costa Mesa (though, I've since done some research and found that Dennis Rodman had been arrested for DUI there). But, seeing how close it is to Los Angeles (I'm assuming the job market in L.A. is good), I would think that no one would have to grow weed for some extra money ...

Can't Write. Updating Template.
January 9^th, 2004
12:54 A. M.

Well, folks, I'm finally doing it ... rummaging my mind for some of my favorite things and linking to the associated web sites, that is.

Other than that, I'm not up to too much that might be called "new." I finally got a look at the live journal I was writing about. Looks like I have found another very fascinating friend, here ...

A Quick Rant on an Otherwise Good Article
January 8^th, 2004
12:34 A. M.

Is it just me, or does anyone know the frickin' difference between a myth and fallacy/misconception/falsehood?

Just another word that gets over-utili ... umm ... over-used

***P. S.***
January 8^th, 2004
1:32 P. M.

The post for Wednesday January 7^th, 2004 has been updated to include the Humpday Quote of the Week feature. Scroll back (scrollin' so smooth like the butter on the muffin!) and check it out!

You Know Who ... The Traitor!
January 8^th, 2004
12:04 A. M.

Yes, folks! I'm a traitor.

Sort of ... I've just set up an account with Live Journal, so I can read a friend's writing. She told me which name she uses, but I'm pretty sure I'm spelling it wrong, because I can't get to her journal no matter how hard I try. I'll just talk to her tomorrow, with a pen and pad in hand so I can make sure to get it right!

*** ** *** ** *** **

I just realized something very important just now. As I was typing in today's date ... yes, today's and not last year's ... I remembered it was an important day.

Today is someone's birthday.

In an odd coincidence, it's also my grandfather's birthday ... but I've never seen anyone impersonating him ...

I Don't Know When You Folks Will Get to Read This
January 7^th, 2004
12:08 P. M.

I don't know what the deal is, but I can't (at this very moment) get any weblogs to come up. I wanted to check my comments, read some of my favorite blogs, then do a little writing myself. But, that's not going to happen tonight. I'm not even sure I'll be able to get ahold of a Humpday quote, either. So, same as last week, you folks will have to keep scrolling back (scroll buttons get ill like a heart attack!) to see if I've included a quote later this week.

So, until the web starts acting right again (or until I get a cable or DSL connection) I'll regale you with what's been going on at work this past week,

Sometime before the new year, a co-worker brought in a joke book intended for young children. It's one of those 101 jokes for kids type of books ... filled with some of the most pathetic/nonsensical outer space themed jokes I've ever heard. If you consider the endorsement I've just given this book, I'll not give you the real title of it ... I don't need the hassle. But, since it relates to the movie I have playing in the background right now (Star Wars Episode II), I'll print the best joke in the book here;

Q: What do you get when you cross a skunk with an android?

A: R2PU

*** ** *** ** *** **

Time for something a little unusual here at This Space for Rent! This week's quote, which is coming to you post dated on a Thursday, is from one of my readers. About twelve hours ago, I posted a link to an article about marriage counselling (which included what I believe to be the misuse of the word 'myth'). When I checked my comments just now (January 8^th, 2004 Happy Elvis Day!), I found a

Humpday Quote of the

Week!
Worth sharing!

In the spirit of the article; a myth is just a mythith without a mythter.
Pua, the High Priestess of the Abyss

Another Temporal Anomaly in Lexington, Kentucky
January 6^th, 2004
1:00 A. M.

I must pay closer attention to what I'm doing when I'm proofreading. (Especially when I spell the word "proofreading." How embarrassing would it be to let that go through misspelled?)

If you noticed, but didn't comment about it (thanks for sparing me, but I think you folks out there know I would rather point out my own clumsiness), I put January the Fourth down as being in 2003. That was well before I even stated this blog. Trust me ... January 4^th, 2003 would not have been a cheerful a post as the one from 2004.

I wonder how it would have gone? (Ok, so here's where I would love to know more HTML or XML or JAVA code ... but for now, just imagine the screen going all wavery and flashback chimes ringing)

Oh, life so boring. Friends either drunk or stoned, no one wants to run around anymore. It's been nearly three months since I broke up with my girlfriend. She hasn't tried to call, and wont talk to me if I call her. But, even when I get her on the line I remember why I broke up with her. Then, I almost immediately start missing her again after I hang up with her. What went wrong? I did everything I ever heard a woman say she wanted a man to do, but she never acted like she appreciated me......

(Ok, more wavery stuff and chimes, again ... we're back to the present)

It would have gone on and on like that for many more paragraphs. I've since realized that I can always go out and make new friends, and if my girlfriend didn't appreciate the gestures I made (i.e. cooking breakfasts and dinners, packing her lunch, *attempted* daily after-work massages ... many more things I won't write about here) enough to stay with me, that's her tough luck. I'll find someone who will not only appreciate that, but will do similar things in return (voluntarily). My ex can enjoy her illegal immigrant new boyfriend.

Maybe I'm slightly more bitter than I was this time last year, but you know what?

I'm enjoying myself quite a bit more now than I ever was before!

My Second Handwritten Entry
January 5 ^th, 2004
12:12 A. M.

It's raining like brimstone in Hell right now ... and I'm at my mother's house. What does that have to do with anything?

Let me tell you.

This time last year, maybe two years ago, we discovered one heckuva leak had sprung over Mom's computer desk. I mean, when this thing really got going, it was like someone had turned a firehose on full blast. (Ok, mild exaggeration...)

What's worse is that it wasn't in just one spot .. there was a cluster of at least four, and they all flowed the same way!

"Oh, neat! You have a Niagara Falls screensaver. How realistic, too!"

"What are you talking about? I downloaded my screensaver from George Carlin.com!"

While on the subject of this weather, I got a laugh from a stranger at the pub tonight. Here's what I said;

"Weather forecast from Snoop Dogg. We can expect some drizzle any minizzle."

I'm Such a Stinker!
January 4^th, 2003
12:41 A. M.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen ... I've done it. Averie can blame me now! If you'll click over to Tinmen Don't Dance, you have a chance of seeing a google ad for Houses for rent Winnipeg. I suppose that linking to my blog and mentioning Canada in one of her posts sent some Canadian looking for a place to rent to her blog!

It could be worse, though ... I found out through my site meter a few months ago that not only were people looking for places to rent ending up on my blog, people who were looking for locker room and shower nudity were showing up here too! (I hope I haven't disappointed anyone.)

These search engines are such marvelous tools, aren't they? Little did I know that choosing the name I did for my blog would have such consequences! Now, everytime someone types in a search for rental property, they could wind up at one of the many other sites that link to this one! They've been winding up here since August 13^th, 2003!

What's the Best Way to Teach a child Not to Stick a Fork in an Electrical Outlet?
January 1^st, 2004
8:31 P. M.

You go ahead and let them do it. Experience is the best teacher.

Why, you ask, is he writing about how to teach electrical safety? Simple. I learned last night why I didn't do a lot of drinking when I was younger. In fact, I didn't have my first beer until I was 23. I didn't have my first buzz until I was 28. Today, I had my first hangover.

I know I hate those things already. The headache was not the worst part of it ... I've had worse headaches than this one. What I hated was the loss of appetite. I actually had to force myself to eat breakfast ... at three thirty in the afternoon. I have a promise to make right now. I won't bother writing it out because it's been said by so many others on so many "days after."

Can You All Still Trust Me?

Well, today's my birthday. I've always heard it said that you can't trust anyone over thirty. Does that count in my case? I mean, I turned at 5:26 A. M., so I am 15 hours and 5 minutes over thirty. Is there some sort of grace period where I can still be trusted ...?