I Had a Little Dream, Aw Shucks, Aw Well!
January 12^th, 2004
12:13 A. M.

This post was originally going to be titled 'Single by Choice ... Or Was It Process of Elimination?' But, I thought the Warren Zevon reference was a little more powerful.

In case you all have been wondering, I have given up on the idea that I might be married by 30. (I don't think I'll bother postponing it to 35 ... I'll be disappointed again, I'm sure.) But, oddly enough, I'm getting to be more and more O. K. with the idea. I really don't know how my new attitude's going to work, though ....

Now, every time I see a woman I think is attractive, I think "I have no chance in Hell," then I talk to her anyway. I don't have any phone numbers, mind you; I am not quite interested in having a relationship just yet. I'm not even sure I'll have another one. But, it's like a favorite local writer of mine said, "I figure marriage is like cancer. If you live long enough, both are bound to happen to you."

Her take on it is ... well ... a little less positive than mine. That doesn't keep part of me from thinking she's right.

So, no marriage, no children for me. I've given it a try, and there are no takers (anymore.)

So, whatever forces out there in the Cosmos are paying attention to me ... You've won. You've given me the opposite of all my greatest dreams, and now my greatest Dream is to NOT get married or have children!

(I wonder if I might wind up destroying all of Space-Time with that little feedback loop?)

P. S.
While You're at it, the idea of winning the lottery makes me physically ill.