A Degree of Tiredness
January 23^rd, 2004
12:56 P. M.

If you noticed yesterday, I the entry was marked with Thursday’s date. That’s because I wrote it on Thursday, meaning to post it at midnight and go directly to bed from there. However, circumstances at work were against that. As of one o’clock this morning (Friday) I was still at work.

I don’t mind being at work that late. Anymore, that is…

If I stay two hours into the next shift (which I did last night) I make another fifty cents on the hour for those two hours. Doesn’t sound like much (for good reason … it isn’t), but like any other type of pittance, it will add up. That, and the extra fifty cents on the hour combines with having time and a half, so I could use that extra dollar from last night to buy one of those delightfully (and unintentionally) off color toys from a dollar store.

Speaking of which … who of you out there go to dollar stores to pick up cheap imported toys … just to for the terrible translation of the instructions? That has to be my favorite pastime there!

I don’t know if I should say anymore about this unique product than I am about to say (I will ask Averie if this is a good substitute for those dick jokes she was looking for at Heckler and Coch)
….But, here is every word on the package of this particular product… (again, I don’t want to reveal the name for the product, because that might risk an improvement to the translation of the instructions … and the entertainment value of my whole world would collapse. Seeing as I’m pretty sure someone has tipped the Australians off to what “Nad’s” might mean to us in the U. S., I can’t risk losing this!)

So, here it is … the instructions for

Blaster Balls!
Over 400 Blasts!

Instructions:

To blast in hand: Cup one ball in hand at crease of palm and fingers, hold other ball in same hand between thumb and forefinger, toss upper ball one to two feet up and catch ball bringing hand with ball in upward motion, cracking balls together creates a ‘blast’ sound when coated surfaces meet right in your hand - safely.

Cracking Balls are fun! Try this game:
using the hand blasting method, see how many times you can blast the balls in a row without dropping them or missing a blast. When you miss, pass the balls to the next player. Keep score and the first person to blast the balls 25 times wins.

Invent many more games yourself

Warning:
Exercise caution when playing. Do not blast within one foot of the face. Do not throw at or near other children. Keep your blaster balls dry.

Contents: Potassium Chlorate, Sulfur Glue and glass powder.

That's every word on the back of the package. Wild, wasn't it?