The Friday Five a Half an Hour Early
August 28^th, 2003
11:30 P.M.

Ok, readers...and I now know there are more than one of you. Some of you actually wound up here while actually looking for places to rent. In fact, through my site meter, I noticed that someone wound up here from doing a church space for rent search...Let me tell you all right now, if you ever wind up back here, that I don't "take the Lord's name in vain." The "Oh, My God" lines from the I Still Have That Other Girl In My Head post was actually me calling out to God for guidance!

Now where was I...? Ah, yes.

Ok, readers...Since my trip down to Muscle (not Mussel) Shoals, Alabama starts at 7 A.M. tomorrow, I won't be in town to do a real Friday Five. And, since I no longer wish for it to be in my nature to put things off, I'm going to do the Friday Five early. Which is terrible, because I have to do an old one. But, here goes!

1. If your life were a movie, what would the title be?
It would be called :This Space for Rent! (and why not?)

2. What songs would be on the soundtrack?
If you look over to the right, you'll see the links to my favorite music. These folks have done a nice job on the soundtrack to my actual life. (Especially Aimee Mann and Todd Rundgren. The Alan Parsons Project would definitely be in the opening credits. That "song" would have to be Sirius/Eye in the Sky. Closing Credits would be "Shadow of a Lonely Man" also a Project song. NRBQ would feature prominently throughout, of course!)

3. Would it be a live-action film or animated? Why?
Is it me, or does this question qualify this as a "Friday Six?"
Anyway, I would go for a little of both. I most definitely would want some of my whacked up dreams featured in this movie...I mean, serving aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise under Captain Picard...and being tapped for a ghost-buster mission?!?!? That would involve some animation, but I've had a few actual cartoon dreams in my life too.

4. Casting: who would play you, members of your family, friends, etc?
Before I gained so much weight, my friends used to tell me how much I reminded them of Christian Slater. Now, I don't see it...never have, and perhaps if we ever met, Christian might not, either. But, the reasons I've been told is that he and I have similar posture, use similar gestures, and have voices that are in the same range used with similar inflections. If my friends (and some members of my family) went into such detail as to why I remind them of Christian, then I suppose we'd have to cast him. (And, Chris, IF you read this, I will include a clause in the contract that says you don't need to gain weight for the role. I know how tough it is trying to loose it.)
Anna Chlumsky (if I've spelled her name right) would be approached to play Amy. I saw a picture of Anna sitting next to John Ritter...She had dark hair in that picture (though before when I had seen her, I think she was blonde) and she looked so much like Amy I couldn't look for very long.
For Heather (I know I made a reference to her reminding me of Charlize Theron, but I couldn't think of any other knock-out actresses), I would have to cast Kari Wuhrer...that's much more what I remember Heather looking like. Especially the eyes and hair.
As D, I know she'll laugh, but I'd have to say Jennifer Love Hewitt. As her ex boyfriend, and my late best friend Tony (more later, if I feel up to telling it) I would pick Wil Wheaton.

5. Describe the movie preview/trailer.
It would start by panning over an empty field here in Central Kentucky with the strains of Ray Thomas' (of the Moody Blues) "from Mighty Oaks" playing. The music should reach its peak as the skyline of Lexington, Kentucky comes into view as a narrator starts saying;
"Comging to a theater near you October (some year before all the people I just named are too old to play my friends and I).....
"This Space for Rent! Starring;

"Christian Slater as Aaron (ok, so I'm revealing my name here. Big deal...Dwana has done that for me already!*wink*)

"Wil Wheaton as Tony

"Anna Chlumsky as Amy
"Jennifer Love Hewitt as Dwana
"And a special appearance by

"Kari Wuhrer as Heather."
And while the talking was going on, these people would be shown in glamour type action....you know....them starting with their backs to the camera, turning to face it as wind catches their hair...all this superimposed over the footage of my hometown flying past. By the end of the trailer there will be Christian Slater....Sitting at a computer typing out this blog, with old family photos scattered about. I don't know why he would have family photos about...I mean I don't have any out right now, but I think it would just make a nice touch to the end of the trailer.
Of course, Christian would look up and smile at the camera as the picture fades and all the writing comes up to tell you who wrote, directed and produced the film, along with who's in the soundtack.

Boy, that took longer than I expected! But, I enjoyed it! Hope you did, too! But for now!:

Go n-èirì an bòthar leat!
May the road rise to meet you!

On the Prowl for Broken Links

August 28^th, 2003

12:35 A.M.

I don’t know about anyone out there reading, but I know when I’m on a blog that has a lot of links to other places, I like them to *WORK*! So, for the past hour, I have been going through my blog trying to find and fix broken links, and I’ve found a few (fixed ‘em, too). To any of those who have tried to use any of these links, particularly the only link I have to the WebMD article about Laparoscopy (post; …And Down It Came, August 16^th, 2003), I apologize. I promise that I will try to keep on top of all broken links as best as I can, but they do have a tendency of slipping past me. If anyone so wishes, they may contact me and tell me of any non-functioning links, and I’ll fix them as soon as I get a chance…and I will notify you once the link is fixed!

Another Hump to Get Over
August 27^th, 2003
Check Below for Post Time (I wrote this @ 1:20 P.M. yesterday!)

For those of you who have no problem with being only transient spirits in this realm, this is one more hump day you never have to face again. For those of you who want to live forever…sorry…not gonna happen! This is still one more hump day you’ll never have to face again!
And, for the Feature Presentation!;

Humpday Quote of the
Week!

If at first you don't succeed, try, try, again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about things.
---W. C. Fields

Helpful advice. But I think my nature is such that I would rush in where angels feared to tread a few more times…especially if it was something I wanted desperately to succeed.

This Post Title for Rent
August 26^th, 2003
11:25 A.M.

See? I told you yesterday that I had no idea what I would be posting about today! Let me see here….what’s on my mind right now;

I’ve been invited down to Muscle (yep, that Muscle, not this Mussel) Shoals, Alabama to visit my sister and niece. They’ve been telling me about this wonderful park along the Tennessee River that has a lighted fountain … apparently this fountain plays some sort of music…I’ll post more about it on Monday night when I get back home. Of course, I also plan to keep a journal while I’m away from home to make up for missing the Saturday and Sunday posts.

I was talking to a friend of mine about what happened between my ex-girlfriend and I. (I don’t think she would ever let me call her “fiancée,” but I did go ring shopping at one point about four years ago.) To tell you what kind of state I’m still in…what I’m still trying to sort out…is how I got from hearing her say, “I like it when you touch me” to “Sometimes when you touch me I feel violated.” These are two things she told me…only a year and a half apart. I mean, if she was tired of being with me, why didn’t she give me one of those “my needs have changed” talks? I mean…why did she have to make me feel like dirt?
That is only one of the many things that transpired which makes me skittish about dating again. One of the other things was being called a “drama queen.” That was the first time I had ever heard that phrase, and stuck me as something only a totally heartless person would say. I finally heard someone else say it, and I was right…the next person I heard say it was a heartless…

Of course, I would like another chance at being in love…and having that love returned (consistently.)

That’s another thing. I’d tell this wonderful lady (again, I’m being serious here…I know she was only confused, though the way she put it was “I’m just confusing”) that I love her, and I would then get the feeling that I was talking to a statue. She would actually shut down on me when I told her that…and the shutting down started pretty early in the relationship. When she got over the shutting down phase, she would respond to “I love you” with “Me, too!”

Every
Single
Time.

I mean, I thought it was funny the first three or four times…but after a couple of years, it hurt too much to hear that. I may have even stopped telling her so often. Then, after the “Me, too” phase, she went into this thing where it seemed almost as if she were ignoring “I love you” all together.

I still wonder what it would feel like to say “I love you” and hear “I love you, too” in return...for the rest of my life...

So, with that off my chest, readers, you can see why I’ve been trying to keep busier than usual. If I sit around doing my usual routine (doing next to nothing) I start reflecting on the seven and a half years I spent with someone who couldn’t make up her mind whether she loved me or not. (Yes, make up her mind on a matter of the heart. I never got that. I probably never will.)
You can also see why I post here so often. I wonder myself if I’ll write so often once I get some things sorted out. I doubt it, though. I do like writing, and I’m doing it a lot more often than I have in 10 years. And, I have a lot more to get out …

There’s still Amy I have to tell you all about…

Hello to a New Reader!

August 25^th, 2003

1:17 P.M.

I just got off the phone with D. She called to tell me I had a new reader today! That reader is none other than a friend of D’s, the Rabid Librarian! I’ll be including a link to her site just below the Open Escape one over to the right of your screen.

And…get this…the Rabid Librarian actually likes what she reads here! Ain’t that somethin’?

New Line of Thought
I go back from the gym today. Slowly, but most surely, I’m meeting my goals. It’s taking me longer to tucker out on the stationary bikes. (Please let me be right about that spelling. I hate homonyms.) I can walk faster around the track for a little bit longer than I did just two weeks ago…It’s wonderful. I’ll be back to being my normal, hyperactive obnoxious self in no time at all! (Yes, for those of you who met me in High School, I was actually a little on the hyper-kinetic side when I was a lot younger. I just haven’t been in good enough shape to sustain that level of activity in a veeerrry long time.)

New Line of Thought (again)

I watched the premier episode of Inside Out on VH1 last night. The profile was of Warren Zevon. I think it totally sucks that this guy’s finally being given his much deserved *public* dues just before he checks outta here. But, hell…better late than never. It’s strange to me … I’m only just 3 and a half months from turning 30, and I am more familiar with Warren’s work than most people 20 years older than me…and Warren’s been recording for longer than I’ve been around! Well, enough of that rant. I think a lot of folks would like his music…if only they could hear it more often on the air (and more than just the *one song*....Werewolves of London.)

Watch This Space for Rent again tomorrow, where even I don’t know yet what the topic of the post will be!

Once Again, It's Laundry Day (yay, again)

August 24^th, 2003

12:47 P.M.

I don't have very long to be on here. I'm expecting a phone call today. It's from my old roommates, whom I have maintained friendships with.

We three guys are in about the same boat...none of us have washers or dryers or "girl"friends (come on, who wants to say they have a girlfriend when they're so close to thirty? Fiancée, maybe...Wife, definitely; at least that's the way I feel about it.)

So, gentle reader, if you're out there, I will have to end here and wait for the guys to call. It will more than likely be a laundry day cookout...with lots of beer and wild women.

Yeah...right.

We'll at least have some hamburgers...maybe a steak or two...

Update: Later that Same Day

11:51 P.M.

This original update, I began at around 11:22. I damn near had it wrapped up, too. But in my efforts to include a link to something I was referring to, I somehow managed to stumble upon the right number of mouse clicks to bring up something I dread: One of those *DAMNED* pop ups that take up the whole frickin’ screen. It’s one of those “search anything on the Internet" ones: the ones that pop up loooong after you’ve stopped expecting anything else to pop up. And there is *NO* x button to click on to shut the things!!! So, I did what I usually do, and I control/alt/delete to shut the offending window down. In the process, though, all the other IE windows thought I told them to shut down, too. I lost the original post. Nice long, five paragraph one, too. Would’ve gotten me an A, if I were still in an English class….and still in High School….

So, as you can guess, tonight I wasn’t taking the advice that I had given to D on how to overcome her blogcrashes. But, let me see if I can recapture the spirit of the lost post…

Ok, here goes;

The Lost Update

The guys didn’t come over to my mom’s today to do their laundry. They said they didn’t have enough to worry about, really. Instead, they were going to go out and buy some more clothes to get them through the week. I’ve done that a couple of times myself. If you can’t tell by the title of this post, I’m trying to inject a little sarcasm into my love for laundry days. Nothing beats being tied down to one spot while you’re waiting for the washer and dryer to stop…seems like hours. Good reason for that, too. It is hours before you can get free to go anywhere or do anything else.

But, we did have a great time hanging out yesterday. I brought over a copy of Robin Williams: Live on Broadway. They loved it.

And this is the point in my original post where all hell broke loose (or maybe it was only some small portion of it that was too hard to detect until it was too late…)

I was going to attach a couple of links to the Robin Williams reference. But, that’s where Internet Explorer decided I needed to do more searching, long after I had what I needed, and caused my window to shut down. I swear, I’ll never have that happen to me again….I lost a great post. But, I will include one of the sites I found in My Favorite Places on the Web over to your right, (and probably up a little ways….there ya go…found it!)

Well, I’m tired and frustrated. I think I’ll call it a night. I’ll write more later, whether it’s worth reading or not!

Am I the Lathe of Heaven?

August 23^rd, 2003

1:51 P.M.

At least when it comes to what's playing on the radio, I must add.

Have any of you ever been thinking about a song, had it stuck in your head for hours on end, wishing you could hear it on the radio because you know you've forgotten some of the better hooks? You also know that no matter how much you like the song, after a while of having only the chorus repeating in your head, it's really going to get on your nerves. The only way out of that trap is to hear the song on the radio. And so you spend the majority of the day wishing with all your heart to hear it...then it happens.

You turn on the radio, and within 5 minutes the song which was stuck in your head is playing.

That's happened to me three times within twelve hours. Must be some kind of streak.

Those of you who know me know I like Todd Rundgren. Last night at work I had his song "I Saw the Light" stuck in my head for hours. Now, don't get me wrong...I love having that song stuck in my head, but it skips!!!! My mind just doesn't remember it properly. If I could remember it properly, I would go around all day "listening" to it...and people observing me would notice I had a nice spring in my step. So, while I was working, I reached over to turn the radio on, and the DJ was spouting out a bunch of artists he was going to be playing. After he got done with that list, he drew a breath and said, "But coming up right now is Todd Rundgren." I knew it was "my song" after only three notes.
I couldn't believe it. If only other wishes of mine could come true like that. Heck, I could aways go home after work and play my copy of it...Heck, I have it on vinyl, 8-track, and CD (somewhere.)
Later on that night, as I was leaving the parking lot, I was wishing to hear Elton John's "Bennie and the Jets." Sure enough, right as I turned my car's radio on, it was already playing. That's two.

Now, for the strange one...There is a song by 50 cent that I like...(I know what you're thinking...Todd Rundgren, Elton John, and now 50 cent? WHat the heck is up with you?!?!?!?)

I was at the gym again today (only doing my biking/walking routine...which went for 10 and 50 minutes, respectively!) and there was Urban Adult Contemporary music playing (don't you just love music designations like that?) After about 20 minutes of walking around the track I started getting that song stuck in my head;

Giiiiiirrrl
It's easy to love me now
But would you love me when I was down
And out
Would you still have love for me?

I had just that part going in my head for 10 more minutes, then sure enough...here it comes over the intercom...
That's three.

Maybe next time I could wish for more wishes....I can always go out and buy some music...
But money can't buy me love.

Oh, no....It starts again.................

Friday Five

August 22^nd
12:20 P.M.
As you may have noticed, I didn't include Friday Five in last week's post. I hadn't made my mind up as to whether or not to include Friday Fives in my regular schedule. But, since D is now having serious computer issues, and is not sure when she'll get to post again, I thought that maybe I could do at least one until she can get back online. So here it is, my first Friday Five;

1. When was the last time you laughed?
When I was on the phone with D last night. It doesn't matter what is going on in our lives, we always wind up laughing together. She was even at Amy's funeral visitation with me, and she helped me to laugh even as we were leaving that!

2. Who was the last person you had an argument with?

My mother. And I'm not going into details here...

3. Who was the last person you emailed?

It was, strangely enough, D. Of course, she is, I think, the only close friend I have that has Internet access. In case you were wondering about the subject of that e-mail, we were batting around ideas about a new blog that she and I will be co-writing. It looks like it will be either an original fiction or poetry site. Perhaps a little of both! Stay Tuned!

4. When was the last time you bathed?

Is it me, or is this question a little off the subject? Weren't the previous 3 questions about interpersonal interactions?
Come to think of it, if you don't bathe often enough, that may put a strain on relationships. And if you're wondering, no, bathing is not what my mother and I argued about.
I bathed yesterday before work...that is, I consider a shower bathing. I don't know if bathing is technically filling the bathtub and soaking for a while or not. But I did my personal cleaning ritual about this time yesterday. As soon as this post is finished, I will do it again!

5. What was the last thing you ate?

Again, I don't know if this has much to do with the first 3 questions or not. But, then again....If you load down too much on garlic...Nah, that's silly.
....Or....

You happen to be lactose intolerant (like me) and have a bowl of mini-shredded wheat (like I did), and forget to take your lactase supplement (like I didn't. Thankfully!)

Well, I actually enjoyed doing that Friday Five!
Hey!
Maybe I'll do it again next week!

Fun with Name Generators

August 21^st, 2003

12:12 P.M.


I had discovered, several months ago, a Smurf Name Generator link on Wil Wheaton Dot Net. I had a little fun with it…searching my memory for as many of my old friends names as I could remember, and seeing what their Smurf names would be. I got bored of that after a while and didn’t go back (but, I do go back whenever I have friends over who haven’t seen their Smurf names yet!). Then, I realized I could do a search for name generators and see what I could turn up on my own.

And I found a good one! I’ve been to several, and I have to say that this one is my favorite: The Cyborger! This one is downright freaky! Tons o’ laughs, even if they only last for tens of minutes.

I’ve been avoiding it up ‘til now, but here are some hints about what my name is! I simply *must* share these!!!






After re-discovering the joys of this particular name generator, I re-discovered the fun I had at the rest of the Brunching Shuttlecocks site, and I have included them in my "Favorite Places on the Web" links.

Should I Slow Down?

August 20^th, 2003
9:24 P.M.
Every day for this past week, I've noticed something. I've been updating this blog daily, whether there is something to update about or not.

I've been checking on some of the other blogs of note, and I have *snicker* noted *heheh* that a lot of folks let their blogs slide for a while. I've also noticed that these folks lead busier, apparently more interesting lives than I. I'm not complaining, though. My life could be as "interesting" as D's. When I think of it that way, I don't mind my life being a little "boring." Perhaps, "uneventful" is more the word for it.

So, in keeping with the title of this post, I must ask, "Should I not post so often? I mean, just think if some of my former English teachers stumble onto this site...what will they think? I didn't write this much when my grades (and my future career!) counted on it!"

Then I think to myself, "Nah! I'll write as often as I damn well please on the most asinine subjects I can think of. And I can't think of any.

I hope that doesn't show...

New idea just occurred to me. I'll call it;

Humpday Quote of the
Week!

And here's the premise:

Each Tuesday, I'll keep my eyes and ears open for a nice little quote, sometimes humorous, sometimes serious, everytime picked to help my dear readers get over the Wednesday Hump. Goodness knows I need a little help with that every once in a while! So, here goes the first one (and here's hoping I don't incur any copyright infringements...)

Humpday Quote of the
Week!
If there really are multiple universes, what do you call the one thing they're all a part of?
-----George Carlin

An Unplanned Vacation
August 19^th, 2003
12:35 A.M. (Ok. So, Technically, it's the 20 ^th, but everything I write about in this post occurred to me on the 19^th)

I went to the doctor today. Good news is that all I have is a couple of strained triceps. Nothing more. The doctor gave me a prescription for an anti-inflamatory (not a muscle relaxer *whew*). Also, I was given an excuse to be off work today and tomorrow, as well as an excuse to stay away from upper body weight training for a while.

That's good enough for me. I'm happier with the bikes and walking track, anyway. All I have to do is alter my eating habits, and I should be able to bring my weight down!

As well as my blood pressure. I almost hate to post it here, but it was...

200/110

As you may guess, I was also put on blood pressure medication. I'm not a big fan of pill popping of any kind...I'll try to avoid it at all costs, but when the nurse reacted the way she did...and when the doctor reffered to that pressure as "stroke level"...I think I can pop one pill a day 'til I get my weight back to where it needs to be.

(I am about 70 pounds overweight anyway...I've been told I don't look like I'm that overweight, but looks can be decieving. In my case, looks may also kill!)

Sore Arms Update
August 18^th
9:20 P.M.
Well, I'm still having trouble with my arms today. Everyone I've told about it says that I shouldn't still be so sore or stiff so long after a workout. I mean, it's been since this past Friday at noon, for cryin' out loud!

I hate to say this, but I'm beginning to believe what other folks are telling me. I think I might have pulled muscles in both of my arms. And now that I have some Icy/Hot on them, I'm starting to notice a little numbness just above my right elbow.

That can't be good

I guess it's off to the doctor tomorrow...seeing how I was actually hurting bad enough to call in to work today. I thought a day of doing absolutely nothing with my arms would help me recover.
But, it didn't. Ah, well. It's only a $20 co-pay away from feeling better...and if I am prescribed muscle relaxers (shudder) I'm looking at perhaps a couple more days off work.

Here's hoping I can remember them!

Return of the D

August 17, 2003
5:30 P.M.

Yesterday afternoon, D sent her husband over to pick me up. He and I went out to her relatives’ house where she had just spent the past six days recovering from her surgery. The way she was feeling all day yesterday (she said she wouldn’t feel like hopping right into the car and going home,) she had her husband and I stay out there over night.

There was a nice little gathering out there (only five of us,) and we had a great dinner. I provided marinated salmon fillets for everyone, and D’s relatives had a bunch of home grown vegetables cooked for us. Their au gratin potatoes were absolutely amazing. Totally home made. I’m going to need to get that recipe….
D stayed in a wonderful place this week.. Nice, BIG yard, way the heck out in the country (about an hour or so outside of town,) and very quiet, too. A relatively small part of the yard is taken up by a vegetable garden. I couldn’t imagine a better place to be while in recovery.

Her relatives told me I could pick come corn, tomatoes, and anything else I might want. I took a couple of ears of corn and two green tomatoes (I love fried green tomatoes!)



Other than the splendid time I spent with my best friend and her family, I must say that the last trip to the gym left me incredibly sore and stiff! The trainer said I was working on muscles in my chest, but for some reason, I feel the worst in the backs of my arms.
Wow! That last workout does a very good job as a diet, too…I mean, exactly how much do you *want*to eat if it hurts like hell to get your hands anywhere near your mouth?

Forget about combing my hair…

And

My Nose Itches!!!!!!!!!!!!

…And Down It Came

August 16, 2003
1:58 A.M.

I haven’t seen it rain this hard in years before tonight. I mean, it was *really* coming down when I got off work tonight. What’s worse; it was coming down just as hard two hours before I got off, too.

The way it seemed, I thought I would have to get out and swim home tonight! I can’t complain, thought. I’m not very big on hot, dry weather. Or hot, humid weather, either. I know this should break the heat for a while. I hope.

I talked to my friend D today. If you happen to click on this link, you will find that her blog hasn’t been updated in a while. Since August 5th, in fact. Well, it seems the last time she tried to post anything, her computer got cranky at her ISP and the two refused to talk to each other anymore that night…and in the process, a very well thought out, articulate post was wiped off the face of the Earth. Terrible pity, that was. D is such a good writer, and I know many of us out here would have loved to have read that post. D would have, too. And, in her frustration, she didn’t even think about getting back to her blog for another week. By that time, she was having her 5th Laparoscopy surgery. She’ll be out of town staying with relatives while she recuperates. Good news is she’ll be home sometime either tomorrow or Sunday. I’m not sure when she’ll update her blog again. Other than the small matter of it becoming very painful for her to sit in any one position for very long, there is also the frustration of crashes wiping out her posts. Like a joke she and I have going…endometriosis is a pain in her abdomen; her ISP is a pain in her…

After her blogcrash, I asked her if she ever thought about composing in a word processor, and she completed my thought with, “Then I can write offline, then cut and paste when I go online!”

Let us know how that goes, D!

P.S.

As I was typing out this post, I was trying to clean up the my favorites folder in my web browser…trying to get rid of the shortcuts I don’t use as much as I thought I might have. In the process, one of my IE windows crashed, taking all the other IE windows with it (including the one I was holding open at Blogger so I could cut and paste this to my blog.) I got lucky that my whole dang computer didn’t crash. That would’ve been a bummer!

I Still Have That Other Girl in My Head

August 15, 2003
12:20 A.M.

The title of this post was taken from the Elvis Costello/Burt Bacharach album Painted from Memory

Alright, what’s the friggin’ deal? Yesterday would have been an anniversary of sorts. You know…one of those “anniversaries” that couples celebrate every month?

Last October, on the 14th, I ended a relationship that had been going since March of 1995. Why am I still struggling?!? It's been almost a year now, but I still hurt so badly that I can't even think about asking anyone else out now.

It was my first serious relationship. I had hoped to have married this wonderful lady (and, yes, if you ever happen to read this, I still consider you a wonderful lady, even though I was a “drama queen” to you near the end), but the relationship hit a wall. And I never knew how to get around it. I had even proposed to her….was shopping for a ring, a good year and a half before I broke up with her.

I was totally serious. I’ve never been in love like that before…I’ve never been as close (or so I thought) to the one I had loved before.

I can honestly say that I loved Amy…I appreciated her presence in my life. She was wonderful to talk to, which I did almost every weekend (twice a weekend sometimes) for about two years. She brightened my weeks, just by spending a couple hours a day on the phone with me on Saturdays and Sundays. But Amy and I never got to date. Ever. We didn’t have a little over seven and a half years actually seeing each other. It was every bit as hard getting over her as it is getting over the one I left last October. And the one I just left, come to think of it, never could spend much more than 20 or 30 minutes on the phone with me without being distracted by some thing or another.

In fact, she would get angry if I asked her to at least turn the television down. It was her way of relaxing, she would tell me. So, I never would come right out and ask her to turn it off. I have no idea what she would have said to me if I said that.

I remember a couple of times in the beginning of our relationship when she would get distracted by one of her cats getting into something that it shouldn’t. Now, I’d be talking to her about something, usually about making plans to get together or some such thing, and she’d drop the phone shouting “NO!”

I would actually hear the phone hit the counter, and hear her running off…while I was in mid-thought. On these occasions (yes, there were WAY more than ONE) I could stay on the phone for a half an hour after that…waiting for her to get back from what she was doing. More often than not, I would hear one of her parents, sometimes her sister, pick up the phone and say, “Why is the phone off the hook?” They would hang up before they even checked to see if there was anyone on the other end.

So, I would call back…laughing!…and ask her what had happened.

It was usually something like, “Oh, one of the cats was trying to get into the soup on the stove.”

“Well,” I’d say, “I was waiting for you to get back!” I would still be laughing at this point…the first couple of times, that is.

She’d say, “Oh. I just forgot I was on the phone with you.”

Even that first time, I thought to myself, “Oooooookkkkaaaaaayyyy!” I didn’t have the guts to say that until much later.

After it had happened a couple more times, she finally told me, “Ok, if I do that again, just hang up and call me back.”

I tried. Once.

Oh
My
God!

The phone was busy for an hour after that. And, by the time it had gotten returned to the hanger, she had gone somewhere.

The things we put up with when we’re in love.

And I was in love with her. I still am. I had gotten so used to her being distracted that it no longer bothered me as much as it had at one time. It still annoyed me that I had to compete with the Talking Lamp for her attention…but I fell in love, I suppose, with the person I thought she could become. She is a very talented photographer/painter. I had hoped to be around when she finally opened her own studio. I still look for that to happen. I will be bitterly disappointed if it doesn’t, even though I know I will not be in her life the way I had wanted to at one point.

I always go for creative women.

I will again, one day. Once I’ve gotten through this. I know throughout this whole post I’ve been saying “get over,” but I think “get through” is more appropriate.

I still haven’t “gotten over” Amy. I probably never will.

Same with the one I was mourning silently yesterday.

Unusual Second Posting

August 14^th 2003
1:30 P.M.

There isn't anything terribly unusual about this post other than its existance. Normally I can't even force myself to write even once in a day. And here this is twice in only a few hours! I must really be enjoying myself here!

I just got back from the gym, and let me tell ya! That track is a helluva lot more comfortable than the sidewalks around town! You get sore from walking, not the jolting of you feet hitting hard pavement. In fact, I walked for 55 minutes today, and would have walked longer if not for time constraints. I'll make up for that though...maybe two 15 minute sessions on the bikes (and insreasing time on them every week.)

Yeah. That'll be a start.

And, by the way...the stationary bikes at this gym are wired to the internet through a thing called Netpulse. You get on the bikes, and so long as you keep pedaling, you can surf the web. Well, today was the first day I was there that I could look at my own blog. I think I like that.

Being able to read my own words while somewhere other than school or work.

Now, all I have to do is keep this thing interesting for you, dear reader...And reader it may only be...

P.S.

August 16^th, 2003

3:30 P.M.

While I was on the netpulse bike today, I was trying to make sure all my new links were working. As I tried to check this here blog like you folks out there might, the screen flashed and went blank. I got some sort of a Windows critical error message, and the thing went through a boot up sequence, followed by scan disk. While that lengthy process was going on, I moved to another bike to continue my workout (the computer controls the resistance in the peddles, so no computer, no resistance.) I got the peddles to the right resistance again, and tried to look up my blog once again. Same thing happened...and I moved to a third bike. This time, it didn't reboot, and I got to make sure that the links on this blog were working properly. (They were, by the way.)

I started wondering, upset at first, at what caused these two little mishaps. I didn't stay frustrated too long, though. A thought popped into my head;

^{Stationary bikes, by definition, don't go anywhere.
They're motionless...but, technology has progressed
to the point where the damn things don't need to move
in order for someone to crash them!!!!!}

Salmon Chanted Morning
August 14, 2003
10:06 A.M.

I’m off to the gym again today. I missed going yesterday. But, I made up for it by walking around my neighborhood for 45 minutes. I must say I missed the track…its surface is much more forgiving than the concrete I walked on yesterday. And even. Nothing like giving yourself a workout on an uneven, hilly track when you are accustomed to even and flat! Then there’s the matter of warming up on the stationary bikes. I didn’t get that yesterday, either.
In case you’re wondering about the title of this post, I based it on two things:
The salmon fillet I had for “breakfast”
The Kip Adotta song, Wet Dream.

If you can find that song, I highly recommend it! I love punning, anyway, and Kip is pretty darned good at it.

New Features!! Awwight!

August 14, 2003
1:35 A.M.

Here it is, a little after 1:30 a.m. With eyes burning for sleep, I can say I've accomplished what I set out to do for my web log tonight! If you'll check on the upper right, you now have the option to contact me! I know....the damn site's only been up for about twelve hours, but I never know who's been dying to talk to me!

That's about it for now...other than a couple more links to my favorite things...I'll be putting more of those up as time goes by!

Goodnight, everyone!

Oíche mhaith, codladh sámh!
Good night, Sleep Well

Ok. First post. Technically.

I've already been maintaining this thing for the past 3 days on my hard drive, so the first post is jumping in midstory...on many things. Too much to go into, even here. You'll get an idea pretty quickly of how I operate. Always pressed for time because I've goofed off too much.

So, right now I'll apologize to anyone who needs more of a backstory on any point. I'll either get around to it, or you can contact me to help spur me to get around to it. I think you'll be able to contact me....I'm very new to this whole blog thing.

Baby, If You’re Into Wond’rin’

August 11, 2003
11:56 A.M.

I just got back from the gym. I did 20 minutes on the bike and another 25 minutes of walking (20 minutes holding a moderate-quick pace, 5 minutes of cool down.) My legs don’t feel nearly as stiff or sore as they did the first day I worked on them.

My friend D would have been very proud of me, if only for the 45 minutes of exercise I did. But, I also had enough nerve to talk to a really attractive woman who I almost ran into on the track. I was trying to keep my pace up, and she was getting ready to cross the track. We saw each other, and knew that if we were to keep the same pace, we would run into each other.

So I slowed down. So did she. We looked at each other with little smiles on our faces. Then I sped up. So did she. Our smiles got a little bigger. I knew this pattern would keep up, so I broke my pace. I sped up to a jog. I was laughing as I went past her, and I said, “Sorry, I’ll just scoot past you here.” And she laughed, too.

Now, I normally don’t go for the blonde haired-blue eyed women, but the ease at which this lady laughed and smiled really warmed my heart.

After I got done with my walking, I headed over to the water fountain and got a cup of water. I downed it quickly, and was getting ready to refill it, when I noticed her coming toward the fountain with a ¼ full Dasani bottle ( ¼ full? I must REALLY be an optimist!) So, instead of making her wait while I get a second cup of water (which I know she saw me drink the first one…I noticed her from well across the room coming my way) I step back and let her fill her bottle up.

And while she did, I talked to her. I said, “Normally I have a bottle, too, but I have no idea where any of mine are today.”

She said, “Yeah, I have to buy new ones sometimes. I like re-using them.” (Or something like that. Point is, I talked to her…..but how do you get past the small talk? I assume you don’t try to get past that on your first meeting with someone. I’ve never really tried.)

Actually, I did once. Her name was Heather, and she was 23 years old when I was 19. It was a couple of weeks after Amy died, and I suppose that had something to do with how well I warmed up to her.

She was involved with an organization called, I think, the National Alliance of Christians and Jews (I would include a link to this organization, but I haven't had any luck finding one myself). She was involved in a chapter through the Universtiy of Kentucky, and was at Bryan Station spreading information about it. There was going to be some sort of meeting at a church around the corner from where I lived. I got involved with this organization for a while and found it much to my liking. I don’t know why I stopped going…but back to the main story, which is timid me talking to a super attractive older woman. (She was a couple of inches shorter than me, darker blonde shoulder length hair, and had the most warm, friendly eyes I had ever seen. Alas, she didn’t wear glasses, but I forgave that. One thing I definitely have to add here is that she had an absolutely wonderful body (I'm blushing here....I almost never speak aloud about how hot a body is. I'm a hair/eyes/smile guy, anything else is an afterthought). I had never seen one like it off of a movie screen….the best way I can describe her from the neck down is…Charlize Theron!) Heather was the first woman I met where I thought, “WOW she’s HOT,” and went up to her to meet the human being I knew was there.

The small talk flowed wonderfully easy with her. I asked her where she was from. She told me a small town near enough to Covington that you can see Cincinnati’s skyline. So I asked her, “When you're at home, then, and you go across the bridge to Cincinnati, do you ever catch yourself singing the WKRP song?” She laughed and said yes, and we sang a part of the song together:

Baby, if you’re into wond’rin’
Town to town
Up and down the dial.
I think that really broke the ice there.

I told her something about how I had expected to have had a date for my senior prom. Heather told me that she had no boyfriend, but had expected to have been engaged by 23. And here I was suffering through Amy, thinking seriously about asking Heather out one day. I sometimes wonder if I, a high school senior, would have had a chance with her, a college senior. Even though I had lost a very dear person to me (I had asked Amy to my Senior Prom, and she had said yes, then died a few weeks later in a car wreck), I could stand around and laugh with Heather. I could make her laugh. I saw her three or four more times after that. I never had the nerve to ask her out. Besides, I think it would have been too soon after…well, it would have been too soon for me, and I don’t think I would’ve been all that good for Heather if I was hurting so badly….

Heather was one of the first people to come right out and tell me that life doesn’t always turn out the way you plan it. She told me that she was still enjoying herself, and she was keeping her plans flexible. She influenced me --- I’ve been doing the same since I met her. But, it’s still tough when things don’t work out the way you would have wanted them to.

But, I’m still working on that.

Laundry Day (yay)

August 12, 2003
10:40 A.M.

Well, I’ve done it again this week. I’ve managed to have gone through all the clothes I would wear to work before the second day of the workweek. I seriously have to either get more weekend clothes or more work clothes. Maybe I should do both? I will if I can afford to.

I must apologize for such a short post. Anyone who knows me knows that it has been a challenge for me to write ANYTHING if I’m pressed for time. And I am now. Pressed for time. That is…

2 loads of laundry

1 brunch

1 shower

….and a partridge in a pear tree
all need to get done before 1:30. And it’s taken me five minutes to write this!!!!

So, see you again tomorrow (and thank you, D, for teaching me how to spell that!)

Rushed Again

August 13, 2003
9:35 A.M.

Once again, here I am pressed for time. And I just got up. Once in a great while I would love to be able to wake up in time to NOT be pressed for anything.

I had designs on being asleep by 12:30 last night, so I could get up by 8:30 this morning (by the way, I understand that 12:30 last night is the same day as 8:30 this morning. I just wrote it like that because that’s the way I was raised to think about the time immediately after midnight.) That bedtime didn’t happen, though. I had to rearrange my computer arrangement!

You see, I had my computer set up on the bar that separates my kitchen from my living room. I had it there because that’s the nearest place to a phone jack. I hadn’t had a phone plugged into that jack in well over 6 months, and I had forgotten the problem that it developed. Any time I plug a line into that jack, it immediately ties up my line…whether the thing I’ve plugged into it was in use or not.

So, yesterday from about the time I posted to the time I got home (at about 10 ‘til 12) I had forgotten and left the modem plugged into the wall.

Who knows who tried to call me. Maybe a lawyer for a rich, recently deceased relative tried to call to tell me I inherited a small (yet still substantial) piece of their estate. Perhaps it was Ed McMahon. It could have been that old high school flame calling to tell me she wasn’t going to marry the other guy after all. One I know for sure is that my best friend D tried to call before I went to work.

I would like to have talked to her. I didn’t write about it, but she had a laparoscopy surgery on Monday (you can read a little about that on her blog, if you click the link). She always sounds like she’s in such good spirits. But, I know that this is her 5th such surgery. Most often, though, doctors will do a laparotomy as the fifth surgery, but that’s a lot more involved…with a great deal more recovery time.

D has been a best friend to me since shortly after we met in Junior year of high school. Since about that time, I have known a great deal about her hopes, wishes, and dreams…I have even known her fears since then. It has always been a dream of hers to be a mother. I know she’ll be a fantastic one, too. But, she has stage IV endometriosis. And polycystic ovarian syndrome. Anything that could possibly get in the way of that dream has. So, it’s turned more into a hope. She doesn’t show it very well, if you’re not in tune with her, but I know it really brings her down that she may not be able to have her own genetic children.

So, as you can tell, I would like to have been able to have talked to her before work last night. But, since I forgot to unplug my computer, she didn’t even know I wasn’t home. She has the phone number to where I was doing laundry yesterday, and she would have called me there had she not heard a busy signal at my place. Ack.