Birthdays. Hmm.

One day last week, an old friend called me. We talked about many different things, mainly things friends talk about when they haven't seen or talked to each other in a couple of months; just catching up sort of things ... What we've been up to, how we've been feeling. That sort of thing.

But, near the end of that conversation, she asked me how I was dealing with having turned Thirty. (dun dun DUUUUNNN!). She is going to turn thirty herself this year, and was wondering what to look forward to in the coming months/year.

I drew in a quick breath, and thought. This is one of those times when so much comes to your head that you don't even know where to start. What I told her was that there is a good chance that it will be a real drag on her emotional state. Any issues she'd been dealing with that hadn't been resolved just yet will come back on her. Turning thirty, for me, had been a time for introspection, retrospection, and worrying over dreams of mine that hadn't (yet) come true (and, for the most part still haven't).

And, in the middle of all this, there was the kid that I was fifteen to twenty years ago screaming out "Hey, fella. I'm still here." That voice has won out. I wake up in the mornings feeling, well, young. And for good reason. I am. But not so young that I don't realize MTV is no longer looking to advertise to me (I'm now solidly in the VH1 bloc, and even it's starting to lose appeal).

While I'm sitting here pondering over this, I have no idea where to go next, what to say next, what to do next. That's what life is basically like for all of us, I think. Any time I've ever asked for some profound advice about life from people older than me (no matter how much older they are), their reactions are similar. Example;
Me: What's this life all about?
Older Person: (Looks at watch, then at hand. Places hand on forehead, and runs it slowly past hairline towards the back of head) I don't know, kid. I was hoping you could tell me!

While a lot of folks might have found despair in that situation, I wouldn't. The person I was seeking to advise me would look me in the eye, and I would see some sparkle in it. Then I would realize that this person looks a good twenty, thirty, or maybe even forty years older than me, but there's that sparkle. And I know what it means.

Life's meant to be cherished. Even though you may not be able to find true happiness (who can?), you can still find joy. That's the thing I've discovered this past year. That joy and happiness don't have to go hand in hand. And given the choice between the two, I would chose joy any time.

(But, there's still room to grouse about things. Don't be afraid to let that fly every once in a while, too. Don't let it build up! By all means, though, find a constructive way to do it!)

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You can tell today that there will be now Wednesday Quote. Instead, I'm going to post a some links on the topic of the day.
Wil Wheaton Dot Net July '02 and July '03 (From the months of his Thirtieth and Thirty-first birthdays, respectively.)

Thoughts on Turning 30
by Michael Werneburg (I've never heard of him before, but I liked his take on it.)

Of course, I normally don't do this (I'm posting this link without having read it over carefully), but here's a book for sale on Amazon.com called Wise Women Speak to the Woman Turning 30. I think it might be a little more in line with what my friend might have been wanting to hear. My take on turning thirty is far too narrow, I think, and limited by the inherent biases of my gender.