You've already noticed the dateline at the top of this post. If you live anywhere near Lexington, Kentucky, you already know that it was in the upper 70s or low 80s Thursday. It was a real nice day. I went out and cleaned my car. I took a jaunt down to a cafe I'd never heard of before I went down to the Carnegie Center for Literacy and Learning and saw a flyer. I saw a great folk music trio, and their special guest guitarist (as soon as I go back there and ask permission to write about them, I'll reveal their names and everything I thought about the show.) I came home Thursday night and it was still warm.
Friday was a little more interesting. Storms swept through just before sundown. The really interesting kind. You know ... The kind that come through with really dazzling lightening displays, tree bending (but not breaking) winds. (Yeah, I realize that I put the word "breaking" in front of the word "winds." If it had been on purpose, I'd be a lot more proud of myself. But, no trees fell over that I know of. So no tree broke in the wind.)
I even got pictures of the storms blowing into town. Fascinating cloud formations were captured yesterday, I tells ya. Once I get home to my Picasa 2 program, they're getting posted here. (If anyone still visits. I know D does, since she called the other day. I haven't seen many comments here lately, and I'm wondering if it's because I don't comment on many of the blogs which I have listed on my sidebar. Another thing I might need to consider is the dwindling frequency of my posts. That might be a factor!)
Tonight, though ... Saturday, April 23rd, 2005 ... after I got out of my dad's band's practice session, it was ... get this! ... Snowing.
Snowing!
It's the first day of the final week of April, and it's ........ Snowing. I'm not complaining. I just think it's quite remarkable. We're eight days away from May, and we have one last shot of winter. It's actually cold enough that anything that falls on metal or glass will stick. I've never seen it like it is now this late into the year. If this means that Summer is going to be mild, I'm ecstatic. I'm more of a Spring/Fall kind of guy. I like it to be warm enough to be comfortable, but cool enough for cuddling....
...If that opportunity returns to my life. After a little over two and a half years,
and I just had to count that out on my fingers, I'm still not ready to date again. But, I still have romantic notions like Cuddling Weather running through my head.
These days, it's not my shyness that keeps me from dating--I've seen, talked to, and befriended several marvelous young ladies (some of them over 25! In my age range...I get queasy thinking about going younger than 27, but there have been a couple of 25 year-olds that made me review my standards). It's now no longer even fear of rejection that keeps me in check. It's fear of acceptance. More to the point--fear of acceptance by someone who will slowly suck my soul dry. If you're going to do that, please make it quick. Get it over.
Another thing I have about dating; what if I'm the one doing the soul draining? Jeez. I appreciate a woman the way she is, not tapped dry of inspiration and all the things that completed her beauty in the first place. I don't want to be the kind of man that people ask, while he's out of earshot, "What is a wonderful, funny, warm, gentle, intelligent woman like her doing dating that ogre?" I know I'm not that bad, but to hear all the old cliches that people pass around as conventional wisdom, all males have that streak. I don't want it, and I don't want to find out that I've got it. Best way to do that--Don't Date. I know I've wanted marriage and family, but I wanted all that before I knew better. Maybe it's too late now, but then again I could eventually run into a woman so beautiful that it brings out the Man in me (read--Stupidity), I'll forget that I know better, and I'll be dating again.
Could happen. But, would I want a woman that wanted me? I like to think most women have higher standards, but I see who some of those women date...And, I'm not getting into that old, whiney, "It's not fair" business either. It's perfectly fair. We're primates; we need stupid, brutal people to carry on in some pre-historic traditions. I'm not fit for that because I'm one of those guys who fooled himself into thinking we could eventually be something ... more. Or, at the very least, different. "More" and "different" are advertising words anyway. They have no place in reality.
And, don't give me the "It's not all that bad, David" stuff. Watch Lifetime. And, come back to This Space for Rent--see if I've been sued for using a real network's name.
posted by David Aaron at 10:57 PM
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